Motherhood is tough. Motherhood is messy. Motherhood has kicked my booty. The first few years are some of the hardest. So much crying (both me and the babies!) and the never ending cycle of feed, burp, change diaper, rock to sleep, over and over and over and over. Then there’s the whining, the tantrums, the constant questions, the potty training, the messes…it’s enough to drive a person completely crazy or send them into a dark depression!
So what gets us through it? (Besides lots of coffee and wine.) What is the light, the breath of fresh air, the hope for all the lonely, tired, lost mamas out there?
It’s our village – the group of women and men surrounding us, lifting us up, encouraging us, and helping out during some of the most difficult years of our life. Every mom needs her village, and I’ve been so blessed with mine. There have been so many people over the years who’ve been a rock, a shoulder to cry on, an inspiration, a light.
This is my story about my personal experience with postpartum depression. There is so much of this story that I’m not proud of, so much shame. But I feel the need to share it anyway. May is National Mental Health Awareness Month and it’s inspired me to put my story out there. I experienced postpartum depression after the birth of each of my children, but it was much stronger after my second child was born. I’ve never sat down to write out my experience and my feelings until now. I’m hoping my story will help other moms out there, moms like me who may not be aware that they’re suffering with PPD.
This is a personal birth story of a successful natural breech birth. I am not a doctor, so please follow your doctor or midwife’s advice during labor for a safe and successful birth. I am also NOT judging moms who have c-sections. The goal of labor is to bring a baby into the world the safest way for both mother and child.
Our little Madeline made her “grand entrance” into this world on September 27th, 2014. I say “grand” because my sweet little girl was breech and came out butt first!
From the beginning, I knew I wanted to try for an unmedicated birth this time around. With my first baby, my son Graham, I had low milk supply and wasn’t able to breastfeed like I wanted. So this time, I didn’t want any drugs in my system to make sure that breastfeeding would (hopefully) get off to a better start.