Before you become a mom, you have this idea in your head of what it’s going to be like and the type of mom you’re going to be.
But every mom knows that all of those ideas go out the window when the nurse places your first baby in your arms.
You realize it’s all about survival in the beginning. And after a while, you end up doing what works for you and your baby. The longer you’re a mom, the less you care about what other people think and the more you rely on your instincts and what is working for your family.
That being said, when I was pregnant with my first child, I had a lot of great ideas about how I’d raise my kids and the type of mom I would be. As a first-time-mom (FTM), I knew that my kids would be different and I would be different. I would be the best mom and my kids would only get the best.
But now that I’m a seasoned mom…I’d like to go back and tell FTM Holly to STFU!
Moms have to deal with some pretty gross stuff. Some things you’re prepared for – like poopy diapers and runny noses. But then there are the things you might not have thought about before pushing that baby out of you. Things like the disgusting nub of umbilical cord that is hanging onto your baby’s belly button by a single gross thread and makes you want to gag when you see it. Or when you’re dying of thirst and take a huge gulp from your glass, only to realize your toddler got hold of it and the glass is filled with more backwash and goldfish crumbs than actual water. And don’t forget the floaters you have to fish out of the bathtub when your kid takes a huge poop during bath time.
Yep – moms’ lives are so glamorous. No wonder we see so many jokes and memes about moms drinking wine! And you know what goes great with wine?
Well, moms – you’re in luck! You don’t even have to make another miserable trip to the grocery store with your kids in tow, pushing around that f***ing huge car shopping cart while you shove snacks at your kids to keep them quiet and entertained. You can find cheese in your own home! All you need to do is to look for those sippy cups of milk that disappear all over your house. You know the ones – the cups that reappear days later with disgusting, rotten milk. We’re talking milk that’s more spoiled than your rich neighbor’s kid with the private school tuition that cost more than your mortgage, and who owns not one, but two ponies. Milk that isn’t milk at all anymore. It’s finely aged cheese.
Motherhood is one of those things in life that you’re just thrown into. Sure, you can read all the books, take all the classes, pin all the Pinterest pins. But you’re not really going to get it until that baby is out of your body and in your arms.
I think most moms have that “oh-sh**” moment when they’re leaving the hospital. You’re marveling at your new baby, but also wondering how in the world are you supposed to keep this tiny, helpless human-being alive. It’s scary!
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Chances are, if you’re a thrifty mom, you’ve been to a kids clothing consignment sale. It’s a great place to find cute clothes, often name-brand items, for a much lower price. Because really, who wants to pay $20 for a shirt that’s only going to fit your child for a few months, at best? No thanks! I can think of a few other things I’d rather spend money on. Mostly Starbucks and wine. But I digress.
Consignment sales are also a great way to make some extra money by selling those barely-worn outfits. But don’t be fooled, consigning takes a lot of work. Sorting, ironing, tagging, hanging – it all takes time and effort. If you’ve ever been a consignor, you know what I’m taking about. Some moms love it – usually the type of moms who like having yard sales and volunteering for school fundraisers. (No thank you!) If you’re one of those moms – great! Consign away! But other moms (like me) don’t actually realize what they’re getting themselves into when they start going through all of those old bins of clothes. Here are the 5 stages of consigning your kids’ old clothes.