This post was sponsored by STL Locksmiths, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.
Mom-brain is totally a thing. After 9 months of growing a person inside of you, then pushing this watermelon-sized person out of your most delicate area, and then not sleeping more than 3 hours at a time for 6+ months, your brain starts to exhibit some wear and tear. I actually used to be an intelligent woman. I have a Bachelors and a Masters degree. But I swear my 2 children have sucked all the brain-cells out of my head. God knows what’s left in there. I’m picturing some sort of shriveled up raisin.
Here are 10 stupid things I’ve done because of mom-brain.
Continue reading “10 Stupid Things I’ve Done Because of Mom-Brain”
Once upon a time, I only had one child. An easy child, at that. I had all the energy and time in the world to devote to this child. I was the best mom. (Or at least I thought I was!) I put my foot down when needed, I disciplined with care and with love. I never yelled. I never even raised my voice.
But then, one day, a sweet tiny baby girl came along, and my life was flipped upside down.
Transitioning from one kid to two rocked my world. My sweet, easy first child turned into a defiant, willful, difficult 2-year-old, and my adorable new baby hated sleeping. Like, hated it.
Fast forward to a year later. My first child was still testing me every minute of every day. My second child still didn’t like to sleep, and was starting to test her own limits. I was worn out, worn down, and scarcely alive. Each morning I pried my eyes open, willed my heavy body out of bed, and dived face first into mothering, treading along all day, without a break, feeling like I was just barely keeping my head above the water.
One morning, when Graham was 3 and Maddie was 1, I was rushing around, trying to get us all ready to leave the house. I frantically searched for clean socks, slapped together some pb&js , made sure we were all wearing shoes, and shoveled some breakfast into my kids’ mouths.
Continue reading “That Time My Son Took a Salad Spinner to Preschool”
One of my friends recently posted this hilarious meme on Facebook and tagged me and a few other friends in it. (It’s the cover of an old Nancy Drew novel with three girls burying something outside at night. The title on the book is “The Mysterious Night We Buried Our Last F***.”) I cracked up when I saw it! You see, the group of moms that she tagged in the meme are notorious for getting together to
complain commiserate about motherhood. If I’m going to be completely honest here, we really get together to let our kids wear each other out, sip on some wine coffee, and have a major b****fest.
Now, I know, a lot of moms would completely shame us for this. They’d say we need to be grateful, we’re so blessed, we’re privileged. Our children are precious gifts from God. (They are – really! I do believe this.) We have nothing really to whine about.
But I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom for 5 plus years now. And sometimes, I need to complain. A lot. If you’re the type of mom that does feel blessed all the time – that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you. But I wouldn’t suggest hanging out with my group of girlfriends any time soon. We’re still in the trenches of motherhood. The sleepless nights, shoveling our lunch into our mouths while we pass out goldfish and load the dishwasher, inadvertently training our bodies to poop at 9pm because it’s the only time we get a free minute to ourselves. This is our life. Our exhausting, mentally-taxing, beautiful, love-filled life.
Continue reading “The Day I Buried My Last F***”
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One morning a few weeks ago I was busy packing lunches in the kitchen and the kids we’re playing together in our playroom. Just as I finish zipping up the lunch boxes, Graham comes running in the kitchen and tells me that Maddie has a ring stuck on her finger.
When she walks in, I see that it’s not a ring, but a grommet (like a washer for a bolt) that’s stuck tight on her pinkie finger.
I roll my eyes, and tell her not to put things like that on her finger. I sit down, and try to pull it off. No-go. She screams like a feral cat when I pull. So I grab some Vaseline and try again. Nope. More screaming – like I’m cutting off her finger. And the grommet doesn’t budge. It’s stuck.
I try to keep my cool, but I can feel the anxiety building in my chest. It was the last day of a long week. I had a manicure planned for the morning, and a lunch with friends scheduled for 11am. But I knew none of that was going to happen that morning.
I called Josh, and asked him what I should do. He said to try to wrap some floss around the finger, as close to the grommet as possible so I could make the finger smaller and be able to pull the grommet off. It worked once on YouTube! I tried that, but it was a huge, peppermint scented mess. It didn’t work at all, and Maddie was screaming and crying even more.
I called the pediatrician, and the conversation went like this:
Continue reading “Our Trip to the Emergency Room”
My husband is a smart guy. He holds a Masters degree, he’s a CPA, and he’s currently a Senior Tax Manager for a large multi-national corporation. He knows a ton about accounting, international tax, and the Marvel Universe. He’s an amazing dad and an almost-perfect husband. Almost.
But there are a few things that he is just not good at. And for a smart guy like him, I wonder sometimes how he can’t figure these simple things out.
Here are a few things my CPA husband can’t do:
Continue reading “Things My Super Smart CPA Husband Can’t Do”