Things My Super Smart CPA Husband Can’t Do

My husband is a smart guy. He holds a Masters degree, he’s a CPA, and he’s currently a Senior Tax Manager for a large multi-national corporation. He knows a ton about accounting, international tax, and the Marvel Universe. He’s an amazing dad and an almost-perfect husband. Almost.

Things My Super Smart CPA Husband Can't Do | sunshineandholly.com

But there are a few things that he is just not good at. And for a smart guy like him, I wonder sometimes how he can’t figure these simple things out.

Here are a few things my CPA husband can’t do:

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Move Over Regina George, My Three-Year-Old is a Mean Girl

Move Over Regina George, My Three-Year-Old is a Mean Girl | sunshineandholly.com | motherhood humor

We all know toddlers are tough. The “terrible twos” and “threenagers” can have even the most patient and calm mama pulling out her hair.  My son, especially, was a defiant, manipulative, and aggressive two-year-old. And those were his good traits! (I’m kidding. He was difficult, but he’s now the sweetest preschooler you’ll ever meet.)

My daughter was still sweet when she was two. The “terrible twos” didn’t apply to her. Yes, she had her fair share of tantrums. But all-in-all, she was still cute and cuddly.

But now that she’s three? Holy cow! Move over Regina George, my three-year-old is a mean girl! Don’t be fooled – she may seem like your typical, sassy three-year-old, but in reality, she’s so much more than that. She’s the queen bee – the star, and the rest of us are just her little workers.

Luckily, my daughter is still super cute.  So I guess I’ll keep her around. But, of course, any time I tell her she’s cute or that she’s being a sweet girl, she looks at me, judging and thinking, “Why are you so obsessed with me?”

She recently gave up naps. I tried to push them for a while, because by bedtime, she was acting crazy tired. But after a few days of her looking at me with that sassy look that seemed to say, “Mama, quit trying to make naps happen. It’s not going to happen!” I gave up on the naps.

Luckily she doesn’t know how to read and write, because I would totally be in her burn book. My page would read, “My mama is a pusher. A sad old nap pusher!

Here are some other reasons my three-year-old is a mean girl:

She wears pink on Wednesdays.

And every other day. And don’t forget her tiara. Move Over Regina George, My Three-Year-Old is a Mean Girl | sunshineandholly.com

She has her own entourage.

Just like Regina had the plastics. Maddie has the plushies.

Move Over Regina George, My Three-Year-Old is a Mean Girl | sunshineandholly.com

 

She’s stabs me in the back.

Must be something to do with all those episodes of Dexter I binge-watched while I was pregnant with her.

Move Over Regina George, My Three-Year-Old is a Mean Girl | sunshineandholly.com

She spreads lies.

No, I didn’t say you could have cookies and ice cream for lunch.

Move Over Regina George, My Three-Year-Old is a Mean Girl | sunshineandholly.com

She walks all over people.

Literally. She thinks I’m a playground.

Move Over Regina George, My Three-Year-Old is a Mean Girl | sunshineandholly.com

She’s a bully.

She teases me, calls me names, and threatens me. Good thing she’s only 3 feet tall or I might actually be a little scared of her.

 

 

So how many of you have felt personally victimized by your three-year-old? Well, just know you’re not alone.  They can be mean.

At least they’re cute!

5 Questions My 4-Year-Old Has Asked Before 7am

My son is the most inquisitive child I’ve ever met. Even when he was a baby, he was trying to take toys apart to figure out how they work. He wants to know everything about everything. And when he has a question, it’s a burning question. He’s gotta know the answer right away.

5 Questions My 4-Year-Old Has Asked Before 7am | sunshineandholly.com

 

When he was two, he’d pitch humongous tantrums and scream and yell when I didn’t know the answers to his questions. Nothing like making your kid furious because you aren’t sure what’s  inside that huge truck you just drove by.

“Uh…socks! It’s a sock truck! It holds boxes and boxes of socks! Now please stop screaming at me!” 

He also had no problem telling me when I was wrong when he didn’t get the answer he wanted.

“No mama. The sky isn’t blue. It’s yellow.”

Ok buddy. Whatever you say!

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5 Nice Things Parents Can’t Have

So you just had a baby? Congrats! Welcome to parenthood. Being a parent is wonderful! Your home will now be filled with more love than you could ever imagine. And also more diapers, wipes, bottles, toys, burp cloths, and tons of other baby and kid gear that you never even knew existed… But that’s another post for another day.

5 Nice Things Parents Can't Have | sunshineandholly.com

Oh, by the way, you’re also going to lose a lot, now that you’re a parent. I’m sure you know the nights of a full 8-10 hours of sleep are gone, as well as the lazy Saturday mornings drinking coffee and catching up on the DVR until noon.

5 Nice Things Parents Can't Have | sunshineandholly.com

But you might not have thought about a few other things you’ll no longer get to have now that you’ve been initiated into your role as mom or dad. Here’s a list of a few things you may have to give up, if you have kids like mine.

5 Nice Things Parents Can't Have | sunshineandholly.com

5 Nice Things Parents Can’t Have

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5 Thoughts I Had While Spending 2 Hours at Chick-fil-A

I love Chick-fil-A. They have some tasty, tasty food, decent coffee, and great customer service. And those milkshakes? Oh yeah!! But best of all, they have an indoor, climate controlled play area where my wild children can burn some energy while I sit and take a much needed mom-break.

5 Thoughts I Had While Spending 2 Hours at Chick-fil-A | sunshineandholly.com

But there’s such a thing as too much of a good thing. On Tuesday, we spent 2 hours at Chick-fil-A. I took the kids to play and have dinner since Dada was traveling for work. And I have to say, that 2 hours is too long to spend at any restaurant with kids, even Chick-fil-A.

5 Thoughts I Had While Spending 2 Hours at Chick-fil-A:

1. Chick-fil-A is the only place where it’s socially acceptable to let a bunch of young children run around a restaurant barefoot. And go to the bathroom barefoot. #gross

5 Thoughts I Had While Spending 2 Hours at Chick-fil-A | sunshineandholly.com

2. When another parent walks into the tiny, enclosed play area that smells of toddler sweat, bare feet, and dirty diapers, and has at least 5 ice-cream-high-induced monkeys…er…kids running around, jumping, and screaming, I want to say to them, “Welcome to Hell.”

3. Forget frosted coffee and lemonade. What we really need up in here is some frosty alcoholic beverages.

Me: “Can I get a margarita?”

Chick-fil-a employee: “Of course! My pleasure!”

4. Is that my kid licking the slide? OMG she is!!! “Stop!!! Don’t lick the slide!!” Gag me.

5. When I get to the point in my life where I don’t have to stop, mid-bite, into my spicy chicken sandwich to hop up and go wipe someone else’s butt…that will be a good day.

 

So I learned my lesson. 2 hours is too much at Chick-fil-A. Unless they really do start serving margaritas…

Do you think that the cows would tell us to eat more chicken AND drink more tequila? Because I’d be all about that.

5 Thoughts I Had While Spending 2 Hours at Chick-fil-A | sunshineandholly.com

Do you love Chick-fil-A?