This is How We Target

We have a Target about a mile and a half from our house. I pass it pretty much every day, so you can imagine how much time I’ve spent there. Especially since we’ve had kids. When Graham was little, I got into a really bad habit of going about 3 times a week. He was such a good shopper – quiet and content to just sit in the cart. These days, I love a good Target trip alone. Strolling around Target with a Starbucks coffee is my idea of a fun evening. (#sobasic)

Anyway, I thought I’d do a little post here about why I don’t like taking Maddie to Target. You’d think I’d love taking my girly little princess to Target to shop. You know – like a mother/daughter thing.

But no.

That girl is SUPER annoying.

Let me show you:

Everything starts out well. All smiles on the way into the store.

Then the tantrums start once her attention span has reached it’s limit.

Sometimes unbuckling her will stop the screaming. At least for a while.

Sometimes a different place to sit will appease her for a second.

But pretty soon she’s taking off her shoes and throwing them over the side of the cart. And then she’ll want OUT!

Once she’s out, she might hang on the cart like a monkey.

Monkey Maddie is cute and happy. But this always prompts all-knowing bystanders (usually older women who obviously were perfect moms back in their day) to say things to me like, “Oh – watch out! She’s going to fall and hurt herself!” I usually just pretend to be confused and say, “Oh – she’s not mine.”

After a while, Monkey Maddie gets brave and starts swinging from the cart’s handle. This, of course, upsets all of those bystanders who think she’s going to fall and “crack her poor little head open!”

So of course, I make her stop, which results in her laying on the floor, kicking and screaming and crying.

That’s when I usually decide I’ve had enough and I drop everything, ditch the shopping cart, pick up my wild monkey, er, Maddie, and hightail it out of the store. Without actually buying anything I needed.

So. Yeah. You can see why I prefer to shop alone, can’t you? Praise Jesus for preschool.