To my big one-year-old:
On September 2nd, you turned a year old. Happy birthday to you! How can you already be one? I feel like it was just yesterday we were heading to the hospital-I was worrying about how they were going to laugh and send us home because there’s no way it was already time for you to come…
Your birthday was bittersweet for me. I love this age. You are so much fun right now. We play and sing and laugh and read and color and dance – I love seeing things through your new eyes. But I miss you as a cuddly, snugly baby. The rare moments when you fall asleep in my arms now, I kiss your sweet lips over and over and over – risking waking you up. But you’re too busy these days for kisses and snuggles.
I had no idea how much I would love you. How breathing in your baby smell when I sniff the top of your head would make my heart swell up and tears come to my eyes. How kissing your pudgy cheeks just makes me want to kiss you again and again and again until you get annoyed with me.
And when you do get into a snugly mood – oh how I cherish it. Those wet, slobbery kisses. Your soft little hands holding mine.
No one told me how hard your first birthday would hit me. I want you to grow and learn and become a goofy kid and eventually a mature, responsible adult. But I wish you could stay my baby forever. I didn’t know it would be this hard to watch you grow up.
I love you so much Graham. I hope you always remember how much I love you.